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October 11 is National Coming Out Day, an annual day observed to support LGBTQ+ in coming out and living openly. In this Higher Ed Careers interview, we spoke with Anila Karunakar from the University of Maine and Josh Kinchen of George Mason University about the importance of celebrating Coming Out Day/Week on campus and how we can better support students year-round.
Kelly Cherwin, HigherEdJobs: What would an ideal Coming Out Day/Week event look like? What are some of the best events you have seen that promote collaboration across campus groups?
Josh Kinchen, Director of the LGBTQ+ Resources Center, George Mason University: An ideal event would include multiple ways that students, and also staff/faculty, can discuss their identities. It would hold space and give time to the fact that many folks cannot come out for legitimate reasons, such as significant social harm resulting from being cast out of a valued community and being cut off from financial resources (such as family support who pay for tuition and/or living expenses), and/or danger of being disciplined or fired either officially or unofficially from their place of employment. Some of the best activities I’ve seen are having a physical door and/or photo background with identities available for folks to hold up for a photo op, and having opportunities for testimonials or written statements, in addition to the photos.
Cherwin: Anila, how is the University of Maine celebrating National Coming Out Week?
Anila Karunakar, Director for Diversity and Inclusion, University of Maine: We, the ODI (office for diversity and inclusion) at UMaine, strive to do our best to make sure that students from the Q+ community feel represented, seen, and supported. We have lost two days of the week due to Fall break this year. This is why we are centering most of our Pride Flag Raisings between October 3rd – October 10th, we are raising various LGBTQ+ Identity flags in the center of campus. I am excited that we are going to host an LGBTQ+ and Allies Speed Friending night that is hosted by one of our local drag queens!
Cherwin: What has celebrating this day/week meant for students over the years?
Karunakar: This has proved to be deeply meaningful to our students, staff, faculty, and broader community. It allows our office’s staff, student leaders, and student organizations an opportunity to inform folx about activists and educators on whose shoulders we stand now — even here at UMaine. Next year, we’ll celebrate the 50th anniversary of Wilde Stein, UMaine’s LGBTQ+ and Allies organization! History has been about resistance and revolution so that our present can be about survival. We learn, acknowledge, and educate today, so that tomorrow, we can thrive.
Cherwin: While resources and budgets for celebrations like these may vary by institution, it’s a powerful event. What do you recommend for colleges that may not have a big budget for it? How can they celebrate it in some way, shape, or form?
Karunakar: Some things we like to do is gather folx from different departments. We also invite folx from the community to help us center our Q+ communities. Sometimes, I am asked what ODI is doing for this week or this month. I am so thankful that there are many groups and departments that share with me what they are doing to center and celebrate legacy months and recognition days. It really does take a village to pursue inclusion (and eventually equity), not just diversity.
Cherwin: How can groups like the Student Veterans Association (and other groups/clubs on campus) collaborate with LGBTQ+ centers on Coming Out Day events?
Kinchen: Collaborations with SVA or military-affiliated/veterans offices for Coming Out Day (and beyond) are essential. This intersection of identity/experience has historically been silenced, so holding space for visibility and storytelling can be powerful for everyone involved. These types of events/programs can be as simple as bios of LGBTQ+ cadets/vets/servicemembers being featured on both social media accounts (and/or the college/university’s social media), or as multifaceted as having a synchronous in-person/hybrid/virtual event that features university leadership recognizing LGBTQ+ cadets/vets/servicemembers with current students engaged.
Cherwin: Are there any mistakes or words of caution you have for others planning Coming Out Week events?
Kinchen: Only holding space for monosexual and cisgender members of the LGBTQ+ community in events would be a mistake. In addition, it’s important to hold intersectional approaches at the heart of the programs/event. Recognizing that LGBTQ+ identities intersect with all other demographics and holding space for those intersections is vital.
Karunakar: Do something! Send out a letter to acknowledge the day/week. Put up a flag! Talk about pronouns. Doing or saying nothing is a big mistake.
Put the burden of learning on yourself, and don’t tap students, staff, and faculty from the Q+ to teach us about being better allies to the LGBTQ+ Community. Don’t wait for a specific month to learn or do something. Once we start doing something — something as simple as going through Safe Zone Trainings or using pronouns or showing up for educational programming — we can slowly earn trust. Once we show that we really want to do better and be better, folx show up to help us be better and do better — together.
When we practice, we are bound to make mistakes. Apologize, and move on. Don’t center yourself and talk about “you didn’t mean to” or “you know I am your friend” or whatever. Just apologize and commit to doing and being better.
Cherwin: Though a student may identify as LGBTQ, that is simply one part of someone’s identity. How can you address the intersectionalities of your students — not only during these events but all year long?
Karunakar: If I want to do programming and I want students to run them, then I make sure that I am compensating them for their time, effort, and ideas. I get to hire multiple students (about 14) to work in three of my centers (Rainbow Resource Center, Intersectional Feminist Resource Center, and the Multicultural Student Center). Instead of telling my students what I want to see in the centers, I ask them what they want to talk, program, or educate the campus about. They have brilliant and creative minds! We have hosted Jewelry Joy – making pronoun jewelry, Expectations of Bisexuality, MasculiniTEA, Appropriation and White Queerness, Expectations of Transness, Sex Worker Rights, Q+and Filipino History Month Trivia Night, LGBTQ+ and Allies Speed Friending, Trans+ and Non-Binary Game Night and loads of others.
If you look at our Pride Flag Raising, you will notice that we also raise our Black Lives Matter flag and our Indigenous Flag to center the intersections of being Q+ and also part of a racial group.
Cherwin: There is a saying, “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” What are your thoughts on the importance of cross-collaboration on campus?
Kinchen: I think it’s not only crucial for LGBTQ+ and student vets groups to know one another and collaborate regularly, but also the professionals in offices who support these communities to know one another and collaborate often. At Mason, the staff members in both the LGBTQ+ Resources Center and the Office of Military Services know one another and work together throughout the entire year to support students (and colleagues) at the intersection. Both our offices are better for the partnership, as these aren’t always the most organic collaborations on other campuses, so we originate much of our programs together from our own experiences.
Cherwin: What keeps you engaged in your work in higher education?
Karunakar: I am starting my 19th year doing DEI work in higher education. Exhaustion and burnout are both real. There are a few things I use to anchor me as a reminder of why I do what I do. 1. My students! (I know!). Amidst many systemic challenges, they bring me joy. 2. I believe in the power of education. Education is one of the ways we are able to develop skills and competencies that inform us of our worldviews. Learning and unlearning challenges our worldviews so that once we know better, we can do better consistently and sustainably, ultimately changing systems. And lastly, I believe it is my calling. This work is life-giving to me. Even on the most exhausting days at work, I am able to rest my head on my pillow, knowing that I did meaningful and purposeful work.
Kinchen: Feeling as though I’m making an impact through service is part of my core values. Contributing to bettering access and resources for LGBTQ+ students and colleagues makes the most challenging days feel worth it. In some ways, I feel I’m living the Marine Corps values of honor, courage, and commitment as much or more than when I wore the uniform.