How can you support your children in the college application process? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

Answer by Charlene Walters, PhD, Business Mentor, Consultant, Corporate Trainer & Author, on Quora:

Selecting and applying to colleges these days is more stressful than ever. I know because I’ve done it twice back to back with my two children, and am a university professor who sees it in action as well. First, there are campus tours which need to be scheduled during times when both you and your children are off. Realize that you are likely to travel a long distance to a campus, or two, only to have your child tell you that he wants to leave because he doesn’t like the vibe. There are also academic considerations, financial considerations, and then there’s the question of match, safety, and reach. Having all three is part of the overall process and strategy, and hard to balance at times.

Admissions has gotten more competitive too. It’s nothing like it was in my generation when we applied to colleges by filling out an application and sending it off in the mail. Imagine! Now, it’s a big business that takes a lot of preparation and planning. This planning starts as early as freshman year when students choose high school courses and begin getting involved with extracurricular activities. This can be extremely overwhelming for both parents and students alike. Still, it is something that you need to think about. Your choices in these areas impact your chances of admission to certain universities.

There’s also the test scores: SAT, ACT, and AP. This is something that requires more time and attention, although some schools are increasingly making the scores optional while still others are bringing them back.

As a parent, the best way that you can support your child is by assessing their strengths and weaknesses. Consider where they are competitive, and where you can lend additional support or get them help as needed. Think about their future goals and how you can package that (and them) in a way that’s attractive to universities.

Although we want to prepare and prep our children, it’s even more necessary to remind ourselves that they are still young. This is one of the most important decisions they’ve had to make to date, so what they need more than anything is our support. They are putting a lot of pressure on themselves to decide and perform well, which can be overwhelming for anyone. If we listen to them, provide them with resources and information, and give them a break when needed, they are going to make the best choices for themselves and their future path.

This question originally appeared on Quora – the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.



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